


DictatorShip

by ispawnedhere



Category: Russia - Fandom, dictators - Fandom, north korea - Fandom, world leaders - Fandom
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 18:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6918256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ispawnedhere/pseuds/ispawnedhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't even know what to say about this one. It's a fic about Kim Jong-Un being Vladimir Putin's senpai? And Putin's a tsundere? I guess...enjoy? </p><p>PS: This was inspired by my friend vhoshizora, check her stuff out too. ^-^</p>
            </blockquote>





	DictatorShip

**Author's Note:**

> This is a joke just like my Shronald fic. Make sure you read that one as well!

“Hello!” Putin said alone in his new office, narrating his first day of presidency as if he were in an anime. “My name is Putin Vladimir. Oh wait, I’m not actually Japanese. I’m Russian. Vladimir Putin, then. Wait, I need to start over.”  
So he did. “I’m Vladimir Putin, and it’s my first day being a president today! I hope everything goes well. Oh no! I’m late for my, er--speech? I’m not actually late for anything. I’m just trying to sound more anime-like…” He stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth and ran outside, but quickly found that he didn’t know where he was going to go and people were staring.  
Embarrassed, he walked back inside and hoped he was at least blushing like an anime character.  
“Sigh. I will never be as kawaii as Maki Nishikino-san!” (Putin was a big Love Live fan.)  
He went outside again to go for a walk and clear his stressed head.  
As he arrived in his favorite park and sat down in a bench, he realized what a lovely day it was. It was barely below freezing and there was only a foot of snow! Yay Russia!  
Putin was so lost in the beauty of the park, he nearly jumped out of his seat when a voice sitting beside him said, “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”  
Shocked, Putin turned slowly to see...um, nothing? He looked down. Oh wait, there was someone. A, erm, very short someone.  
“Uh, yes, it is beautiful.”  
Upon seeing Putin’s confusion, the short man said, “Oh, my name is Kim Jong-Un. I am the leader of North Korea.” He stuck out his hand.  
Putin shook it carefully. “Er, hello, Kim.”  
“You will address me as Kim Jong-Un-senpai.”  
“Wait, w-why?”  
“I just think it sounds...better.”  
Now Putin was sure he was blushing. 

 

A few hours later  
“I-It’s been great getting ice cream with you, Kim Jong-Un-senpai. I m-mean, it’s not like I like you or anything! I just like the ice cream here.”  
“Say, Vladimir...do you, by any chance, like anime?”  
Putin’s eyes widened. “K-Kim Jong Un-senpai...Do you like anime?”  
Kim Jong-Un’s eyes lit up. “Absolutely, my friend.”  
Kim Jong-Un-senpai had called Putin his friend. This was the greatest day of his life.  
“D-Do you think we could, go back to my office, and watch some together?”

And so, there they were, marathoning anime with all the lights off in Putin’s office. They made the security guards leave the room so they could be weebs in peace.  
“Which is your favorite anime, Kim Jong-Un-senpai?”  
“Sh, this is the best part.” Putin was attracted to Kim Jong-Un-senpai’s dominance. He blushed again.  
He looked over to the person on his left and really took him in--beautifully styled black hair, height of a child, features carved and hardened from years of anger and command.  
When the episode was over (he didn’t want to interrupt Kim Jong-Un-senpai’s watching again), he asked, “Senpai, may I a-ask why you’re in Russia? I mean, it is clearly a country that is far superior to all others, e-except North Korea, but even still...why?”  
“I was taking a vacation,” Kim Jong-Un-senpai replied, “from my wonderful country. Do not get me wrong, my country is an amazing place. We could easily destroy America in the blink of an eye. Believe me when I say that we could. And we could destroy you as well, Vladimir.”  
Putin didn’t know how to respond, so he just waited expectantly for him to continue.  
“So, what I’m saying is: Watch. Your. Back.” He leaned in as he said this, an ominous shadow passing over his small figure. “Anyway, I’m here because I wanted to travel a bit. Just to, you know, have some...uh...what’s the word…? Erm, it starts with an f…”  
“Fun?”  
“Right, ‘fun’!”  
“Okay. Well, I’m very honored t-that you find Russia fun.”  
“Well, as long as you’re here.”  
Putin could feel his face turning as red as the patterns on his mother’s old platok. “I-I’m having fun with you too. B-But, I don’t ‘love’ you or anything like that…” He was awful at being a tsundere. 

Putin and Kim Jong-Un spent all their time together for the next few weeks. They saw movies, made plans to nuke America (probably after reading this fic lol), and got meals out together.  
Too soon, it was time for Kim Jong-Un to head back to North Korea. They went to the airport together as well, so Putin could say goodbye.  
They were silent as they waited for the plane. Neither of them quite knew what to say. It felt like every moment they’d spent with each other had just been hurtling down a path towards this day--they both knew it had to come at some point. They just didn’t expect it to feel so sudden.  
A dagger was slowly twisting its way through Putin’s heart. A very dull blade that shone with his tears that he’d never let out. He was too much of a tsundere.  
In a while, the plane arrived. They both stood up, even though Putin wasn’t supposed to get on.  
“Listen,” Putin said, a new firmness asserting itself in his voice, “Don’t get on that plane.”  
“Don’t get on the plane? Vladimir, I’ve truly loved my time here, but I need to go home.”  
They stared into each other’s eyes and with that second of eye contact, there was some sort of connection formed that neither could ignore.  
“Then I’ll go with you.”  
Kim Jong-Un hesitated for a brief moment, then nodded.  
There were a lot of complications to get through--buying the ticket on such short notice and everything. Putin was able to manage, being the president and everything.  
Once they were in the plane and it had taken off, Putin leaned over and said, “I love you, Kim Jong-Un-senpai.”  
Kim Jong-Un said nothing, only pushed his lips onto Putin’s in one swift, sudden motion.  
They stayed there like that for a minute, and Putin felt as if he could be like that for the rest of his life--not only his physical body was soaring through the clouds, but his emotions too.  
When their mouths parted, Putin said smoothly, “I’ll be Putin it in you tonight, baby.”

Much later  
Putin and Kim Jong-Un had a happy life in North Korea. Well, as happy as it could get in North Korea.  
They both knew this was a great happy ending for their lovely story.  
Then, one day, Putin got a phone call from a strange number.  
“Hello,” the voice over the phone said. Oh no. Putin knew this voice. This voice was....American president, Barack Obama.  
“What do you want from me? I’m happy now, leave me alone!”  
“You know exactly what I’m calling for. You never should have left Russia. Putin, you fool...I’ve always wanted to know how it feels to rule two countries at once.”  
“NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!”


End file.
